


Depress Sorrow

by Itachi_S_Lucius



Series: Sorrow [1]
Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2673341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itachi_S_Lucius/pseuds/Itachi_S_Lucius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben 10 is spiraling into depression. And his love for Kevin is growing more and more, when he makes friends with Cash. Not knowing any of this his two teammates are growing faintly worried about Bens slightly odd behavior. But are to caught up with each other to care. But what happens when Ben gets arrested for being at a illegal party? (Set in Ben 10 Alien Force)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was always a rush. The felling a tiny piece of metal cutting into ones skin, is incredible. Though I suppose the cocaine on the blade helped that. It was always such a thrill to mix drugs and pain together. Like chocolate and peanut butter, I can feel chemicals rushing though my body, throughout my blood like poison. Although this poison was far better then anything you could ever imagine. It was like my mind had died and gone to heaven; it was that good. I don't know why people are so against cutting if it feels this good. Then again I have been doing this since I was ten years old, maybe it just takes some people a lot of time to get used to the idea of self inflicted pain.

That's so hypocritical, I haven't even told my parents of what I do. Probably for the best though, I don't need them to take away my razor to try and 'protect me.' And then they'd call Gwen and Kevin to try and straighten me out. That's the least thing I need right now, they are the reason I'm doing this anyway; or rather why I'm still doing this. Their non stop flirting is driving me insane, I want to jump out a window whenever I'm with them. Worse of all they are flirting so prefuncely yet Kevin refuses to ask her out. And Gwen she is being so demanding of him, its like she knows my feelings for Kevin and is playing with me. I have a crush on him. 

But when Gwen's around its like I don't exist. 

Julie is worried for my safety, she has turned into my best friend, and is the only one who knows about my problem. She has of course tried to stop me from doing it but her attempts are in vain. 

Looking down at my left arm I found it covered in blood. Sighing I got up from the spot on my bed. And went over to the bathroom to wash the sticky substance off. I had gotten a little carried away with my cutting when my thoughts had wandered, so now I'll have to resort to bandages. I wonder what I can use as an excuse. After all I haven't gone this far since I was eleven. Stepping out from the bathroom found me facing a ringing cell phone. Sighing once more I picked it up with my bandaged arm and began searching for a wearable T-Shirt. 

"Hello?" I could hear the slight echo of my voice from the other end and instantly knew who was calling. For only one place had an echo effect like that. Smiling into the phone a sat down on my bed, deeming the search unimportant for now. 

"Hey Tennyson. You were supposed to be here an hour ago!" Smiling again, I laughed at the grumpy voice on the other end. 

"Yeah I know. I'll be there soon Cash" Shrugging I simply put on my green lettermen jacket and climbed out my window, not that my parents were here anyway. But I'd rather be carful then sorry. It was past midnight anyway, and I don't need any of the nosey people on this street to see me. Landing on the soft grass I walked around the house to the other side and began the long walk to the KL club. Which is not a legal club, but I stopped following the rules three months ago, I could care less now. 

 

{{*}}

 

The club was noisy, with loud music bouncing off the walls like the poll girls asses. Drunks everywhere, touching poor sluts. The DJ oblivious to it all, with his headset on, probably blasting; as he mixed his tunes. It didn't take me long to spot Cash and the guys hanging at the bar, talking to some prostitutes. Cash spotted me and tilted his head in a beckoning fashion. Nodding I made my way over, letting the welcoming feeling of the club wash over me. 

"Bout' time Benny!" Cash shouted, his voice mixed with a drunk slur, along with the smell of alcohol made him seem like a alcoholic twenty year old. Although we were not of legal age to drink, in fact we were three years behind the legal drinking age, the club didn't really care who came though its doors and had a drink. I even remember a nine year old coming in once, with a cigarette in his mouth and a stoned out look on his face. 

Smiling at the guys I took my seat and ordered a shot of vodka. But as soon as my drink came I felt a  vibrating in my pocket, and pulled out my phone; glancing at the ID I groaned: Gwen. Cash gave me a sympathetic look as in walked over to the silent booth, where Cash had called me earlier. And clicked the answer button. 

"Hey Gwen, sup?" I faked being happy, for she was one person I never really wanted to talk to, especially now. 

"SUP?! SUP?!" I was in my right mind to turn off my phone and walk back to the bar, get drunk and hang with the guys. But I refrained she'd get on me big time if I did that. So I just sighed and listened. And only god knows what dangers can strike from actually listening to Gwendolyn Tennyson when she's in a bad mood. 

"Where the hell are you?! Your parents called me and Kevin to ask if we were fighting aliens. When I responded no they yelled at me that you were missing! Ben we've been calling you for ages! Honestly Ben you need to-" at that I snapped, finally to sick of being put down by my cousin I felt my fist tighten and my face heat up in anger. 

"Oh shut the fuck up Gwen!" I found myself screaming into to phone before I quickly ended the call. I know that's going to bite me in the ass later. It was then that I reliezed that she could use her mana to find me anywhere. But knowing Kevin he would be to tired to think straight, it was after all, almost one o'clock in the morning. What a dolt. Gwen probably just didn't care for she had stayed up later then this to study. Grunting I returned to the bar, to find most of the guys on the dance floor grinding some chicks. The only people at the bar being Cash and Vin. Who for some reason loved tight black leather to wear, and somehow could see with his long black hair covering his eyes. Then again he was once girl, changing his gender for mysterious reasons that not even Cash knows. 

Sitting down once more I was pleased to find Cash hadn't drank my vodka. I gulped it down and turned to Cash who was staring at me expectantly. Unnerved at this I rose my eyebrow waiting for him to answer my silent question. 

"So~ Tennyson~ when you goin' to tell him?" His voice had lost most of his drunken slur but there was still slight fatigue in his voice. Which told me he was still drunk just talking about a serious matter. And sadly in knew exactly what that matter was. Cash knew about my crush on Kevin and was constantly telling me to fess up and be a man. Which he didn't seem to understand was completely impossible. Looking down I ordered another shot and sighed again. I'd been doing that a lot lately, it must be my frustration slipping out. Whatever it was people were going to start getting suspensous if it continues. Quickly I took the shot, and looked around the club ignoring Cashes question. I didn't feel like doing THAT again. With a grunt I heard Cash get up from his stool, i watched him walk over to the dance floor. Slightly worried that if someone were to lightly tap him he'd fall over and get trampled. 

Whatever, it was his own fault if that happened. Ordering another shot I found myself caught by Vin's gaze, and involuntary blushed. He was so much like Kevin, except his jokes were actually funny and he was less muscled. He was hot if you were into bad boys and I definitely am. 

"So Ben-Ben, you finally going to go on a date with me?" With a smile I found myself nodding, if I can't have Kevin then I'll have the next best thing. Vin. With wide eyes he smiled back and grabbed my arm. Pulling me outside of the club, I just chuckled knowing Vin was a you-only-live-once kind of guy. Most likely he was dragging me to a date before I changed my mind. I didn't really care everyone in our little group knew about my crush on Kevin, including Vin himself. It was amazing he was still willing to give me a shot. 

 

{{*}}

 

The date went really well, it was obvious Vin was happy about it as he said good-bye. But I couldn't help but feel as if I was betraying Kevin even though I wasn't dating him or anything. I had told Vin this and he nodded, and we agreed to just be really good friends until I could get over Kevin. He was extremely calm about it to, which I felt glad about. 

And now it was 7:30 in the morning, I had been up all night simply thinking about what Vin saw in me. I'm not exactly the smartest light in the box, I'm not that attractive or anything. I found it puzzling but I guess Kevin still hangs with me, so there must be something good about me. Slowly I got put of bed and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower and brush my teeth. I was meeting Kevin and Gwen soon. But before I could take a shower or brush my teeth my phone rang. Groaning I pressed the answer button, only to hear an excited version of Vin's voice on the other end. Which was odd because Vin rarely got happy over anything. 

"Hey Tennyson, I have a plan. I know how to get you your man." At this my eyebrows rose over my head, as Vin laughed somehow knowing what my reaction was. That however was not to much of a mystery for I heard a knock on the door. And looking out the window to see Vin there his one visible eye shining in amusement. Shaking my head at the childish act I turned my phone off and opened  the door. 

"That face was beautiful Tennyson!" He was laughing so much in was afraid he was going to fall over. Rolling my eyes I hit him on the head. 

"Come on honey let's go." He started dragging me to the door, knowing he didn't really care if I was topless, I let it slide however it was the honey comment thing that got me. So while we were getting settled in his car I asked. And he smirked. Which was never a good thing when it came to Vin. I also faintly remembered that I have to meet Gwen and Kevin soon. But let it slide in favor of listening to Vin's explanation. 

"Isn't obvious Ben-Ben, I'm going to be your boyfriend." I was about to protest wonder how exactly him being my boyfriend was going to help Kevin notice me. But before I could he silenced me by putting a finger to my lips. 

"He obviously has a thing for you Tennyson, he's just in denial. With the old fashioned jealousy trick should get him to realize his feelings for you."  I was stunned to say the least, why would Vin help me get Kevin's attention when he himself wants me. It just didn't make any sense. Looking up at him I saw his head tilted in such a way to expose the rest of his face, Which I never seen before, but I noe saw why he covered it up he had a huge scar running down from his normally covered temple going down just below his eye and all the way to the middle of his nose. And decorating his cheeks was a light pink blush. He looked nervous. 

"Its not that I'm exactly happy with the idea.... But I just want you to be happy... " Be looked away as he said this, the blush on his face increasing consiterably. I felt honored, for the fact was Vin NEVER blushed. Quickly I pulled his shoulders down to my height and hugged him. 

When I pulled away his hair was once again covering most of his face, as he started the car. 

 

[3rd person]

 

The silence on the drive to Mr. Smoothy's was gladly not awkward. In fact it was probably the most beautiful silence ever. To them anyway. However once they pulled up Ben gulped. Which earned him a smirk from Vin. And when they began walking up to the table where the two love bride were, Vin was conveniently; whispering in Ben's ear. His long black hair tickling the younger cheek, which extracted a giggle from the brunette. That made Kevin's and Gwen's focus on each other snap to a holt as they heard their teammate giggle. At the unfamiliar figure. 

 

[1st person: Kevin Levin]

 

I felt my blood boil as I watched Ben giggle at whatever that guy was saying. Although in don't know why. But I felt red hot anger shoot through me as I watched. I had never made Ben giggle like that. That in itself made me in raged. How dare this man make Ben giggle! Every bone in my body wanted me to march over there rip that guy away from Ben, and kiss the shorter into oblivion. That thought terrified me. I'd never felt like this about Tennyson, ever. So why did I suddenly feel like he belongs to me? If Gwen wasn't here I probably would have done exactly what my mind was telling me to do. Which was stupid. I'm not gay! Am I? Yes, I am apparently, but I really can't see myself with anyone other then Ben. He was.... Perfect.... Wait what?! Looking around I saw that Gwen was still as shocked about this stranger as I was. Except I saw a relived expression on her face instead of a worried one, which confused me. 

Why wasn't she worried who this guy was with Ben. For all we know he could be some sort o crazy killer. My I felt anger over take me once more. Didn't she care about her cousins safety? It was then that I realized that no she didn't. She had always been really harsh on Ben and really kind but demanding of me. She was just using Ben to get closer to me! 

This was simply to much to processes so quickly I got up from my chair and left without saying good-bye. I need to see my mom. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2 Drastic

[1st person: Benjamin Tennyson]

 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the extra attention from Vin. But I was worried about me, Gwen and Kevin's relationship. For as I was often hanging out with Vin instead of them; Hence both our relationship and coordination where off, and on a massive scale too. Gwen had gone for the avoidance tactic with me once again, successfully pretending I don't exist. Not that that was unusual, its just that she hadn't done it so much since we are ten. Kevin was acting strange as well, he wasn't as talkative, a d wouldn't hit on Gwen as much anymore. Which rouse my suspicion greatly, which was probably I was here sitting at Mr. Smoothy's across from him. In complete silence. I guess I can't just expect him to open up to me, I'll have to prod.

 

"What's with you? You never talk or hit on Gwen anymore, which might I just say speaks volumes." His eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything and looked away, glaring at nothing in particular. But as I was about to say something else my phone rang. And I sighed; Again. Looking down I noticed it was only a text message from Vin. Apparently we were going to meet soon. And I realized this with a sigh, for he was right; we were. Getting up I looked back down at the claimed 'ruffian' and felt my stomach clench slightly at the sight. He just looked so pissed off and confused. But what could I do about it? He doesn't exactly like hanging around me much anymore. I'm left out in the dark, as always. Sighing again I turned and began to walk away.

 

However I didn't get very far, before a muscled hand grabbed my bandage covered wrist, which had been the victim of my vigorous cutting this morning. And of which was still bleeding quite badly. So in pain I accidentally let a unmanly whimper or squeal as some would say. And of course Kevin noticed. His brow rose, and he let go, only to pull up my sleve and examine the bandages on my hiddenly; very ripped up and descusting, left wrist. His eyes narrowed, and he began unwinding the slightly yellow cloth, with a huge amount of determination resting on his face. And I let him.

 

[1st person: Kevin Levin]

 

I don't like the look on Ben's face as I slowly began to unwind the sickly yellow bandages. Mostly because these are the bandages you use when you want to cover something up. And Ben was diffenatly covering something up both metiforicaly and physically. And I was now sure of that, I had been suspicious for awhile now, quietly examining Ben whenever we were together, which was not a lot these days. But this was just enough. I needed to know at least one of Ben's secrets, and this is going to be that one. But as the last of the bandages come off, I feel uncontrollable anger.

 

His wrists are ruined, they're torn up on such a massive scale that I can't even see a speck of the normal semi-tan skin. At the front they're a ghastly sick pink color, and on the underside red blood began to dip onto my shoe from the large slashes that are dangerously close to the green veins. Looking into Ben's eyes as I wanted to yell. But I just can't, his eyes are swimming in unshed tears, and he looks so helpless. The feeling of my own body moving away was strange, for I hadn't asked it to do anything. But I am glad that it did. That way I don't have to look into those sad eyes again.

 

[3rd person: Benjamin Tennyson]

 

Ben watched as his friend silently walked away, his muscles tense, and his lips strained. The brunette found himself hanging his head in shame, the tears finally streaming down his face, and quiet sobs escaping him. He was staring at nothing, Kevin's face imprinted in his mind, the complete disappointment, and dare he say sadness.

 

Taking a sob raked breath Ben looked up, and texted Vin. Asking if he wanted to party today. The immediate reply was 'yes' and Ben nodded to himself, silently deciding that he was going to get drunk tonight.

 

{{*}}

 

Ben was indeed drunk, his head spinning from all the alcohol he had consumed in the past hour. Not to mention that he was currently, having sex with his best friend on the dance floor. It wasn't unusual for this to happen at this club. In fact it happened every night, no one watched you doing it, only looking so they wouldn't trip on you.

 

The sound of sirens made all movement in the club cease, as everyone held their breath.

 

"Everyone please exit the club, you are all under arrest!" Everyone looked to one another, even if they didn't know each other, a silent agreement was formed, and they all started leaving though the front door silently. Ben and Vin made their way out of the club as well, leaving their tops on the ground. Ben having to be supported by Vin as to not fall down. About a dozen cop cars were parked outside waiting to take everyone to the station.

 

Once there they were all shoved in pairs into cells, the teenagers being told that their parents would be contacted, and they could get out tomorrow on a warning. The adults weren't so lucky.

 

The night wasn't very pleasant, several people had begun pucking, and the rotten smell was in the air. This 'lovely' exprence did not skim over one Ben Tennyson, who was at the moment laying on Vin's chest after a long pucking session. That seemed to be the last of it however, as the sun was now high in the sky, making the time as approximately 9:30 in the morning. Ben woke before Vin, and smiled at the peaceful expression on his face, Vin's only time of weakness. And it was nice in the loud prison. However that was interrupted by a loud shout of:

 

"TENNSYON!" Effectively, waking up a sleeping Vin, and scaring the shit out of the other occupant's. Ben cringed, he recognised the voice filled with rage easily. It was undoubtedly Kevin. Vin got up slowly holding onto the shaking brunette as the already thunderous footsteps grew nearer and therefore louder. Finally the proclaimed ' ruffian' showed up, his gaze furious, and his nostrils flaring. When he finally spotted Ben his gaze hardened. As he simply crushed the lock, and letting the door swig open. Ben squealed in fear *still slightly drunk* as Kevin marched in. At this point Vin had fallen back asleep, the hangover probably still ringing in his head.

 

Kevin was furious, his cheeks having a slight angered crimson to them. Ben was scared, and he fought aliens on a daily basis. So taking atvantage of this the brut grabbed the younger by his forearms and dragged him out of the dirty prison cell. Startled the brunette looked behind him, to see Vin once again asleep. He wanted to glare at the extremely calm raven, but he couldn't because Kevin had taken a firm hold of his arm, and was now dragging the hungover boy out of the police station with no remorse.

 

Nothing was as scary as a pissed off Kevin Levin, and it seemed to be that the ruffian was just that. So much so that he simply tossed Ben into the passenger side of the Camaro, and slammed the door closed. And that was bad, because, if Kevin was in a bad enough mood to hurt his "baby" then who knew what he could do to Ben. As soon as they pulled out, it started Kevin, glared, then looked at the road again, then glared again, and looked at the road again, then he absolutely blow up.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK TENNYSON! ARE YOU FUCKING SUICIDAL?!" At this point Ben was temped to answer that, so he did, not knowing what had possessed him to actually tel the Levin that.

 

"Yes, I am." Kevin, looked shocked, and then he looked sad, finally his face twisted into one of anger. Ben didn't know why Kevin would be so upset he could have more time with Gwen if I died. Whatever was the reason it didn't matter anyway, he would be free.

 

"Why?"  His voice was strained, almost forced. His face was tense and scowling. He looked like one wrong word, and he would tare off the steering wheel. The expression itself made Ben all the more curious to Kevin's reasoning for even asking. It wasn't like he actually cared.

 

"Why do you care?" With that simple question, the ruffians eyes widened, his mouth went slack, and a completely shocked expression crossed his face. Before he turned a sharp right, and parked on the shoulder of the highway. It was as if Ben was watching some sort of horrible transformation occur to the ruffian, like someone else was sitting in the car beside him, and not Kevin. It couldn't be Kevin because who ever this person was, he was crying, and Ben although he felt somewhat guilty for this, he wouldn't let himself care, he couldn't let himself care. For if he did, the brunette knew he would say something stupid, something that would make Kevin disgusted even to look at him, and Ben knew that if that happened he would kill himself in a heartbeat.

 

"What the fuck?...." Ben tensed slightly as he heard the voice crack in the Levin's voice, it was horrible, it sounded as if Kevin had just found out that his car had been brutally smashed up by a drunk driver. He almost sounded... lost. The raven was only whispering incoherent words, that probably Kevin couldn't even understand.

 

"Why the fuck would you say that!" Randomly Kevin's voice razed at least ten disables making him sound like a very angry husband, which was quite a scary vision. But despite the fear Ben was feeling he remained silent. Kevin didn't make another sound after that, in fact they actually just sat there in the car, Kevin burying his forehead into his hand and covering his eyes, Ben simply staring at his lap, thinking.

 

It was thirty minutes later when the brunette entered his house, his parents fully prepared to yell and lecture him when he had gotten though the door. However had second thoughts when they saw the pure despire on their sons face when he had entered, and decided it would be best to leave him be at least until the next day.

 

{{*}}

 

Ben was more depressed then usual, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't even leave his room. To put it lightly his parents were extremely worried. So worried they arranged a family meeting, Kevin included of course. When they explained the situation everyone looked horror stuck. That of course was before they heard the small laughter coming from Ben's room. They all glanced at each other, and began to stealthily sneak up to Ben's door to listen.

 

"No, I'll go for that, where?" Ben sounded serious, in contrast to the light laughter they had heard. It was simply pure luck that Ben talked with his phone on speaker most of the time. "Claiton Drive. At the old red warehouse." The voice was obviously male, defiantly older then Ben too. It was slightly unnerving. 

 

"Ben... Just don't overdose again ok?" 

 

"Yeah, I know Vin. I... I won't..." With that the sound of the dial tone seemed to fill the whole house. No one moved, to shocked at what they had just heard. Kevin may have told the family that Ben was suicidal, but they hadn't expected that Ben had actually tried to kill himself. They were horror stricken. The family only snapped out of there daze as the door to Ben's room opened. The brunette walking out and ignoring their presence completely. Everyone simply watched as Ben grabbed his house keys and went out the front door without even uttering a word. 

 

{{*}}

 

Ben walked down the street, his eyes dropped to the ground, and his stance slumped over. His family was becoming a nuisance. To worried that he was becoming the delinquent child. And so what  if he was, it wasn't like his parents were home often, or even his aunt and uncle. Gwen, was even becoming a bother. He just wanted solitude, but instead everyone was sticking their noses in where they didn't belong. 

 

As if one queue the purr of a familiar engine caught the brunettes attention.  

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, sorry bout that guys.

[3rd person: Ben Tennyson & Kevin Levin]

 

 Ben scowled, of course Kevin tracked his omnatrix with his badge. But given the place of which he was being discovered in, it would be in his best intrest to be nice to the ruffian. Although he wasn't looking forward to the round of questioning that was bound to follow. Turning around Ben was faced with Kevin, who was standing straight and tall, his chest puffing out slightly just in front of the brunette. Ben didn't flinch. But he did blush slightly, of course when he finally got to see the broad chest, it had to be when the guy was pissed at him. Isn't that just how fate worked?

 

"What, are you doing here Ben." He was demanding, not even questioning, and ben silently cursed himself for finding it incredibly hot. Kevin barely demanded anything, his voice was harsh, and god it turned Ben on. Realizing that he was beginning to blush more, he quickly turned his head to the side, and answered nonchalantly.

 

"What's it to you Levin?" Saying this, and firmly believing that his blush had left him, and that he had not played the nice card, he turned around, mildly surprised at himself for not following though with his own plan, yet his face remained -thankfully- passive. However he was met with a growling Kevin, and for the shorted moment known to man, Ben's mask of in-defiance shattered, and a sparkle of fear could be seen on his face, but the mask was quickly replaced, and his eyes became hollow shells again.

 

"Ben..." Kevin's voice was a growl, a venomous, low growl, and Ben was once again cursing his body for betraying him once more. He squeaked. And Kevin -the basterd- noticed. But he didn't comment, which made Ben ideally wonder if this was truly Kevin and not some sort of strange clone. But no, it had to be Kevin, after all, that was Kevin's car, and the brute had some pretty advanced security on that thing. Knowing this Ben backed up ever so slightly. However this proved to be a mistake, as Kevin thought he was trying to get away, and instinctively grabbed a hold of his green jacket. Ben scowled at this.

 

"Fine!" He spat it out, simply wanting to get out of there and do what he came here to do. Kevin waited, surprisingly patient.

 

"I came here to get score Speed. Nothing more and nothing less." He didn't flinch, didn't even move as he heard this, and his eyes never strayed from Ben's. But it was the eyes that were important, they hardened, they flashed in anger, they yelled.

 

"Why are you?..." He took a breath.

 

"Depressed."

 

Ben flinched but didn't allow his eyes to stray from Kevin's. His resolve would not weaken. Kevin couldn’t know. He _wouldn’t_ know.  Ben, though his logical mind was screaming at him, stayed silent, and glared up into Kevin’s eyes.

 

That’s when Vin appeared.

 


End file.
